Mr. Bean Goes to Stanton.

~or “When the Game is More Dangerous than the Players...”

Sigh...

“When the Verse gives you Lemons...”
You have a few responses you can try. There is the standard old “Then make Lemonade!” response... but I'm fresh out of sugar and I fly in Star Citizen so... I'll just peel those Lemons, and RUB THEM IN MY EYES!

THAT will show that old verse who's who...

You see Star Citizen is in Alpha, it is “in development”, not yet ready for Prime Time as twere. It is a project that is a awful lot like a Mindbogglingly Massive Interstellar Cloverleaf that has been busily under construction for 10 YEARS... and a quite large number of people have said, “Hey, we'll pay you for the privilege of using that MMIC before it is completed.” and the Construction Boss said... “Sure! As a matter of fact you can help us by letting us know if you encounter any problems.”

So those of us who believe in the MMIC Project have been giddily taking that on-ramp for 12 years now and... blindly crashing headlong into unmarked barricades... skidding off the edges of bridges... smashing into piles of equipment... falling through the cracks into eternity... and sailing off the end of unfinished overpasses at 1000 kph... all the while grinning and laughing and screaming and crying... it's Life in Alpha.

And no, I am not at all sure what was happening here either...

And yes, there are days when I cuss like a sailor... (well, I am one) bitterly log off and grumph away in utter disgust... and not a few TBH. But then there are...

The Days of Capt. Kirk and Mr. Bean.

So the Alpha 3.15.0 patch has dropped to the PTU, not to the PU... wait, 'lemme 'splain. The PU is the “Persistent Universe” which is like EVE's Tranquility server farm. The PU runs ALL the time and is therefore Persistent... but it is also a Test Universe as the game is still under development which makes us, the current playerbase, all Alpha Game Testers. But SC also has a PTU, a Public Test Universe... Uh huh. That's right, we have a Test Universe for our Test Universe. And if you think things are buggy in the PU, LOL just you wait my child.  =]

Alpha 3.15.0 is... well, damned interesting to say the least. The ambitious changes and upgrades are quite simply stunning. The Healing System is the first real underpinning for “Death of A Spaceman”, encompassing all of the medical gameplay that is envisioned around health, injury, longevity and yes, perma-death in a verse simply chock full of dismemberment, assplosion and a multitude of horribad ways to die... well, at least we hope so.

So, let's see just what is slated in 3.15 Q3 for us in the PTU...

- Ingame    Five New Locations Hospitals & Clinics
                  (New Babbage, Orison, GrimHex & R&R)
- Ingame    Orison V2
- Ingame    Healing T0
- Ingame    NPC Healing T0
- Ingame    Crusader A2 Hercules Starlifter
- Ingame    Physical/Local Inventory
- Ingame    Asset Manager mobiGlas App, NIK-NAX
- Ingame    Curelife Medical Tool (& assoc. equipment)
- Ingame    Greycat Multi-tool Healing Attachment
- Ingame    Dr & Nurse and Vendor AI behaviors
- Checking  Infiltrate and Defend Missions
- Checking  Loot Generation T0
- Checking  FPS Radar & Scanning
- Checking  Bombs
- Not Yet    Aegis Redeemer
- Not Yet    Crusader Ares Starfighter Ion
- Not Yet    Crusader Ares Starfighter Inferno
- Not Yet    Behring S7 Ballistic Gatling, ship weapon
- Not Yet    Behring S7 Laser Cannon, ship weapon

That's what the Roadmap shows, “ingame” means I have seen or used it in the PTU and “checking” means just that... still more pokin' around to be done.

And it's about the above pokin' around that I've been doing that I want to chat about you see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beeep... Beeep... Beeep... Beeep... Beeep... <smack!>

Wakee, wakee... Eggs and Bac'ee!

Turamarth Elrandir, CMDR, UEE RET
Apt 14B, Greencircle Habs
Cloudview Center, Orison
Stanton, UEE  6514-UEEP-65A

I woke up really looking forward to my day. There had been a lot of chatter about this newest round of sweeping upgrades to the Civic, Medical & Emergency Services of the UEE with the advent of the “United Empire of Earth Alpha Civic, Medical & Emergency Services Upgrade Version 3.15.0j PTU.7812585”... whew, whatta a mouthful. This of course gets acronymed down to “UEE-ACME-SUV3.15.0”, but everyone actually just calls it “Alpha 3.15”. Which happened last night, 00:00:05 UEEST, adjusted to local time.

A few quick things here...

First 3.15 login, You have to select a Primary Residence

Select your Primary Residence System and Planet

Choose server location and Set as Primary Residence

Confirm

This is my home in Stanton.

Persistence. Say it with me, Per-sis-tence. You now has a HOME.

A permanent... well it's an 'until you decide to move' kinda impermanent permanence but still, you have an ADDRESS! And much more importantly, a place for ALL YOUR STUFF! Which is what this is all about anyway. We all know that you are not nearly as important as your STUFF.

This was HUGE for me in EVE. I played that game for 10 years, and for approx 9.5 of those I lived and died in Anoikis, Wormhole Space, Negative Sec... where we had to buy and build our OWN stations and feed them and arm them and keep them warm and safe and dry... so we could be safe... well OK, so our STUFF could be safe... ish.

It's the same thing for me in Stanton and this is the very first step to an actual Home in Star Citizen... and I like it I do I do!

The view from the balcony right outside of my apartment.

So I wake up ready for the day, or so I thought. You see in Stanton, some days you wake up and discover you are Captain James T. Kirk! and some days you might be Mal Reynolds and some days you could even be Khan. But some days you are Mr. Bean... and some days you are Gilligan... I wonder which it will be today...

I decide to head out and see if I could complete a few basic trade runs. I wasn't even looping, just the ol' back-n-forth. Fly out to the Rayari Cantwell Research Outpost on Clio 'round Microtech. Buy Agricium for ~22.5 cr/cSCU and sell it at the TDD in New Babbage for ~27.5 cr/cSCU then rinse and repeat. It'sa really short but decently profitable one sided route and it's relatively safe.

Relatively Safe you ask? Yes safe I say... but not from players or gankers or even the Nine Tails... No, you see I don't fear none a' them at all because I has my own Personal Implacable Foe. My Terminator, my Khan Noonien Singh, my Arch Nemesis is...

The Game Itself.

So I take out my new Reliant Kore, SV Mollitia, and head out to Clio. The Reliant is a small cargo hopper, only 6 CSU, but she is cheap and fun to fly and if lost, won't ruin me. The landing goes well, no one around as far as eye could see... <I chuckle to myself> Shut engines down, exit, head back, drop the ramp and... damn, as I walk down I'm bowled over and down the ramp. I hear no wind yet my body reacted like I was caught in a blast of wind or in the concussion from an explosion or a rocket blast. Weird.

I ended up on my back, shaking off the knock down. I rolled over, stood up and BAM! I'm blown over again. WTF!? I roll over and stand facing away from my ship and... OK, I'm good. I turn and head down to the Storage Facility but when I turn to go up the steps... yup, BAM! I'm blown over again.

There I go... ass over teakettle... over and over and over and...

OK, this could get a little tiring I thought, little did I know. Every time I got up, I got blown over and eventually I was blown quite a ways past the steps and I spent literally, and I really mean this, I spent literally over an HOUR of real time getting back to my ship.

I tried EVERYTHING I could think of. I finally figured out that one, the “wind” was blowing more or less in direction from my ship to the Storage Fac., and two, that if I knelt and crab walked I could sorta 'tack' up wind. I could not walk or even crabwalk directly into the wind. When I did I had at best a few seconds and BAM! Over I go.

So I tried crabwalking to the Storage Fac., I still wanted to buy that Agricium and try and make a profit out of this miserable day. I actually did get onto the steps at the airlock a few times and once even made it to the airlock door... only to be struck by whatever was causing the force reactions and blowing me out across the cold, bleak and airless prairie.

Yes I said “airless” prairie... I mean I was on a moon you know... I didn't hear any wind cause there ain't none. I have NO idea what was knocking me down. Pissed-off Space Poltergeists I guess...

So I kept trying to get into the Storage Fac. until I felt things might be getting worse then I abandoned that tack and set myself to getting back on my ship. No small feat this as the Splenetic Space Spooks didn't want me to get back to my ship and it was a helluva LONG way away...  <sigh>

I ended up crawling the whole damn way.

One, inch, at, a, time...

Finally... oh my road-rashed frozen fukkin BALLS!

I got back on my ship... Hm. OK, I took off and tried landing with the ramp literally ON the bottom steps of the Storage Fac.

Made it in at last!! MAN was that exciting and IRRITATING

I got really close and then I was able to cross between the ship and the Fac. And get the airlock open. But the Wrathful Space Wraiths still tried to knock me down when I crossed over, both times.

But I did it... I got my cargo! well, sorta. They were out of Agricium so I bought 6 SCU of Med Supplies instead. I just could NOT fly away empty-holded after all I had been through.

Cargo Porn...

Ah... a full cargo hold was just what I needed!! Well, that and a cuppa kaffe and Ruum. As I warmed up I double checked everything, all set, good to go. I took off and headed back to New Babbage. Easy peasy nice and easy...

My ship blew up on landing... I don't know why.

Mmm Mmmmm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Game has taken from me more in credits and and real-time effort and caused me more game-pain and virtual-suffering than ANY player or even ANY group of players could ever equal.

But This Game also gives me more fulfilling and satisfying and FUN gameplay than ANY game I have EVER played. So yes I do login and yes I will login because Immersion, Persistence, Hope and...

The Glory Days of Capt. Kirk and Mr. Bean.

Fly it like you BELIEVE
=/|)=