Monday, November 7, 2011

Rescued from a Ganking only to ‘Die with Most Stoopidity’…

or, “How to Lose 78 Million in POS Fuels The Easy Way”...

Epic RESCUE vs Epic FAIL 

OK, back a few weeks ago I was tryin out mishin runnin in Empire space again… as you who follow this know I decided I do not enjoy missioning anymoar, A side note to the whole missions thing was I whacked the crap outta my Faction Standings re the Amarr Empire… my current standings are -6.sumthing… This means I can no longer travel freely through the Amarr Empire without tempting the fates. EVERY Amarr gate and station, and the Imperial Amarr Navy will give me fair warning then blow my ass up if possible. 

Now this is not the same level of response CONCORD gives to a ganker. I have watched a few gankings over time and lemme tell you, CONCORDs response was amazing. The speed with which they arrived and attacked was phenomenal, and the level of DPS brought to bear was devastating. In the case of standings status transgression though, the Imperial Amarr Navy responds about the same as the gate and station defenses. About the same level of DPS you could expect from POS guns being manually controlled, IE with a good tank you “should” be able to exit stage left with your hull, and possibly some degree of your armor intact.

I dint start out warpin to Amarr space. I had been very careful in my trip planning after I discovered my Amarr standings had gotten so bad. As we live in a WH it is not a huge issue, unless our static lowsec hole pops in Amarr space, which it does occasionally… but that can often be worked around by seeing where our static C2 has its exit. I can “usually” find a way in or out that is not in Amarr space.

There are 2 nights in question here… on one I was logged on as my WH Alt, Angel, and I made fuel run and tried to save time by running a 2 hop lowsec entrance to our WH… 

The other was the next night, logged on as Tura, again doin a fuel run but this time tryin to avoid the kinda debacle I had the night before, to wit…


We had a sukky lowsec that night, 2 low hops but it was only 15 hops from Rens We did have a nice ‘safe’ hisec hole available via the Stat C2, but it was like 33 hops away and I just was not interested in it. We were runnin low on some POS fuels and I needed to make a store run. I logged on as Angel and made the run to Rens. Loaded up my Hoarder (named Whoredur… LOL).

My Whores are always fully rigged with Med Cargohold Optimization Is and the lows slots are fitted with Expanded Cargohold IIs so her modded base capacity is a 17.7K m3, add 12 Huge Cans and you bump it up to 22.6K m3. Considering the Hoarder’s base cargo capacity is a measly 5610 m3, that is a x4 increase in capacity… not too shabby for the little Hoarder.

OK, so I am ready to make my run, I have allies in the hole ready to scout the low run in. I make an uneventful 13 hops to the last hisec system and we’re goodtogo… Here’s where the fun starts.

I am given the all clear by my Ally Tsra in his Cheetah.

[05:56:10 ] Tsra > Tur your clear to jump into low
[05:56:20 ] Angel(alt) > LOL, ok, ready to warp to the Ihal side of the Mifrata gate
[05:56:27 ] Angel(alt) > warpin

He warps to the out gate as I ‘jump jump’, I get the all clear on the inside gate and warp to, he jumps thru and all clear. I land, get the OK and jump jump… “WAIT!!!” Tsra barks TS, “TOO LATE!!!” I yell back… “CRAP! Hold cloak, hold cloak. A Broadsword landed the second I gave you the all clear.” We wait, to see what he does… he couldn’t have seen the gate flash, he hadda be in warp when I jumped. But he is acting like he is camping…

The Broadsword is 14km from me, approx 20 or so from the gate… and he aint going anywhere. Tsra makes a decision, “Tur, when your cloak drops run for the gate.” he uncloaks and baits the Broadsword seconds before my jump cloak breaks. The Broadsword takes the bait and aggresses Tsra…

[05:59:50] (notify) Blorgg: You have foolishly engaged in criminal activity within sight of sentry guns and must suffer the consequences.
[05:59:51] (notify) Blorgg [STHCI]<FIGL>(Broadsword) has started trying to warp scramble "Tsra [HELPE];(Cheetah)"

Tsra’s betting he can speed tank the HIC for the brief time I will need to get in jump range. I turn and burn for the gate… then after 14 seconds the Broadsword pilot breaks off his attack on Tsra and engages me.

[06:00:05 ] (notify) Blorgg: You have foolishly engaged in criminal activity (yada yada…)
[06:00:06 ] (notify) Blorgg [STHCI]<FIGL>(Broadsword) has started trying to warp scramble you!
[06:00:30 ] (combat) 425mm AutoCannon II belonging to Blorgg barely scratches you, causing 183.4 damage.
[06:00:34 ] (combat) 425mm AutoCannon II belonging to Blorgg barely scratches you, causing 187.6 damage.
And so on and so on and so on until…
[06:00:54 ] (notify) Session change in progress. Jump jump!

Tsra had bought me those few precious seconds I needed to make it to the gates max jump range and the Broadsword does not have enough time to break my passive x2 Extended shield tank before I jump thru... and Tsra warps away, so he lost both kills. I have 0% Shield, and 30% Armor left…

On landing I warp to 100 km from the first thing I click on… the sun… uh oh… ohfukme, did I oops again? I quickly make a random BM, a SafeSpot, while in warp to the sun, on landing I attempt to immediately warp to the SS. Low and behold a RED Cheetah uncloaks, burns quickly into range, scrams me and begins orbiting at 500 m. My Whore, with a MWD, has the blazing top speed of 200 m/s, which I cannot use, so the Cheetah had no problem keepin me in range…

[06:02:17 ] (notify) Murder 1 [STHCT]<FIGL>(Cheetah) has started trying to warp scramble you!

So, there I was scrammed, in low armor and held fast at the sun by a RED in a 0.3 system… I’m as good as dead right? My allies work out a response. Tsra will come back in his Cheetah and Sov, Tsra’s corpmate, is going to join in his Falcon… it’s a race to see if they get there and runoff the RED Cheetah afore he is able to bring in backup… or, hmmm… he could be holding me as bait… Oh well, its EVE right? This all takes a few minutes… during which my shields regen back to 100%, shiney…   =\

We fleet up and a few mins later my allies warp in, the Cheetah unlocks me and I instawarp to the SS (at the release of the scram I was at full speed), they call out that a Drake landed just as I went to warp but they were both able to warp out...  Hurrah!! I leave the SS and warp to the hisec gate, "jump jump" and my screens clear to the glorious view of the (in comparison) safer skies of 0.5 space… whew. OK, THAT was a mistake! LOL…
Breathing a deep sigh of relief I set the autopilot for the 30+ hops to the “safe” hisec hole we have available via our current Stat C2. I pop into the first station with a repair center en route and happily pay for full restoration of my armor and associated damage.

The rest of the now 35 hop run to the hisec hole went by slowly but uneventfully…

[07:53:37] Angel (alt) > ahhhhhhhhhh.... home crap home!!


The next evenin, logged on as Tur, I make another store run for fuels… only THIS time I am not gonna risk the lowsec, uh uh, no way… fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, asplode me! I load up on fuels, get the hisec system from Sov, and set course without ONCE looking at where in EVE I am going…

I undock and let the AP take the wheel. I retire to the galley and throw together a quick handmeal. A labham & fauxlony with vatcheese stuffed breadtube and a Rum & Quafe…. Ahhhhh… just the thing for a long boring haul… I return to the bridge and settle in to eat while looking over recent B-Log Reports of interest to me browsed from the Neocom and working on the POS Fuels Status Report and suchlike…

I take my time, I’m in Hisec and while yes, there are gankers and such, for the most part you can usually bank on getting where you plan to go and after my recent close call in lowsec I am feeling perfectly at ease as we warp gate to gate through the relative “safety” of hisec Empire space… until…

Target Lock Warning Klaxons scream through the bridge as we receive the Imperial Amarr Navy warning, “TurAmarth ElRandir, you are an enemy of the Amarr Empire! This is your last voyage into our territory!”


on our pub channel:
[05:30:48 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  IM IN AMARR SPACE!!!!!!!!!

Now here is where I really prove just how not James T. I can be…
I receive the above warning at: …05:29:43
I am not fired on until: ……..…...….05:30:35

47 seconds … almost a full MINUTE goes by during which time I am what??? Calmly in a true James T. manner ordering an immediate warp out to the nearest Planet? Moon?? Asteroid belt??? Something that would AT MOST take 15, 16 SECONDS?!?!?!?!…

Naw… not ME! I freaked out completely and my brain, no longer under any cognitive control whatsoever, and reliving vividly the recent memory of my near bodyloss back in lowsec, turns my bumbling slow ass freighter and… burns at the amazing speed of 51m/s BACK TO THE EFFIN GATE!!!! Which was approximately 15 km away…  I died. I died horribly an I died of STOOPIDITY.

Combat Action Details:
[05:30:35] (combat) Imperial Navy Sergeant hits you, doing 105.9 damage.
Imperial Navy Sergeant aims well at you, inflicting 135.2 damage.
Imperial Navy Sergeant lightly hits you, doing 78.3 damage.
Imperial Navy Sergeant barely scratches you, causing 66.4 damage.
Imperial Navy Colonel aims well at you, inflicting 245.0 damage….
And so on and so on and so on and on and on until finally…
[05:31:10] (combat) Imperial Navy Colonel aims well at you, inflicting 111.2 damage (final blow)

First shot: .…..05:30:35
Last blow: …..05:31:10

35 seconds…. It took them less time to kill me than they gave me between warning and finally opening up on me in the depressing realization that I was that effing ‘tarded… The Imperial Amarr Navy did not kill me because I had the audacity, the sheer ballz to calmly fly into Amarr space as if I was an invited guest of the Imperial Family! Oh NO… they killed me as an act of MERCY to free me from my own fatal stoopidity.

In otherwords… I went all FUCKBEANS BANANASLIPPERS RUN RUN RUN!!! and paid for it in full.

OK… the smoke clears and there I sit bobbin in my pod with a jet can none too full of what’s left of my cargo and a few paltry modules and 3 empty Huge Secure Cans floating by my Whores smoking, glowing wreckage… I of course had kept up a running commentary on TS & in chat with my allies…

[05:31:46 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > FUK ME!!!!!!!!!   130MIL of shit in a can I can’t get out of here!!!!!!!!

My allies were very, very concerned for me… they wanted to know just if I could walk and chew gum at the same time? Anyhoo… I start orbiting my floating space junk at 500m in the hope my POD will scare off anyone bold enough to run get an Indie and ”You just you try and steal ervythin of mine!!”… “I’ll… I’ll…!!!”…

Turns out Sov is only 3 hops away and in his Mammoth… Oh frabjous day! We fleet up again and he gets the system & gate I am at and starts on his way to me. Now I am pissed but moar importantly I am WORRIED that someone else will get there afore Sov and complete the losses my stoopidity started… I take note of a Dramiel that is nudging about my wreck… I take as offensive a posture and my POD is capable of and he priv convos me… Hmmm…

Turns out he was offering to assist. I said I could use, and would pay for , armed response if anyone tried to steal my shit… He offered to swap it all into a jetcan of his own… uh, lemmethinkaboutitNOthankyou!

[05:37:03 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > allies are OTW to salvage and claim my stuff....

[05:37:05 ] Sovereign Meari > i'm omw

[05:40:07 ] Leo Runz > right.. just tell me what ya need
[05:41:00 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > just orbit the cans and if you can assist if someone tries to steal anythng....
[05:41:02 ] Leo Runz > guess i can scoop it into a guarded can
[05:41:13 ] Leo Runz > long as your corp mates dont show up and blow me to bits

[05:41:50 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > no prob...  corp mates are here....  ThanX!!

Sov starts to grab ervything just as an Orca lands right beside us… and runs salvagers on my wreck! LOL… Sov gets all the loot and dropped assets and we head to the hisec hole system… him in his Mammoth with my paltry leftovers and me in my POD…

Later that evening one of my corpmates logs on…

[04 06:04:54 ] Strigon Leader > what is up?
[04 06:05:33 ] TurAmarth ElRandir > im in my pod..... NC1M is huntin me.... Sov is in a hauler with all the shit left from my popped Whoredur....   so how are you?

This aint no way to run an airline…  =]

Original Killmail: (with actual costs)

2011.11.04  05:31:00
Victim: TurAmarth ElRandir
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hoarder
System: Niarja
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 4264

Involved parties:

Name: Imperial Navy Colonel / Amarr Navy (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 4264

Destroyed items:

Hoarder                                                         ISK 625,000.00
Medium Cargohold Optimization I, Qty:3                 ISK 11,550,000.00
Improved Cloaking Device II                                 ISK 4,779,820.00
Medium F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction                     ISK 5,900,00.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)            ISK 6,564,610.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)            ISK 6,564,610.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)            ISK 6,564,610.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Mechanical Parts, Qty: 1300 (In Container)                ISK 13,584,974.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Coolant, Qty: 1300 (In Container)                           ISK 12,349,987.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Mechanical Parts, Qty: 1300 (In Container)                ISK 13,584,974.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Coolant, Qty: 1300 (In Container)                           ISK 12,349,987.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                             ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)            ISK 6,564,610.00
                                                 Total ISK lost: ISK 96,061,082.00
Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 3                               ISK 1,505,999.00
Catalyzed Cold-Gas I Arcjet Thrusters                       ISK 54,488.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 7895 (Cargo)                      ISK 3,986,738.15
Medium F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction                     ISK 5,900.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                              ISK 121,500.00
Coolant, Qty: 1300 (In Container)                           ISK 6,564,610.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                              ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)             ISK 6,564,610.00
Huge Secure Container (Cargo)                              ISK 121,500.00
Hydrogen Isotopes, Qty: 13000 (In Container)             ISK 6,564,610.00
                                          Total ISK Recovered: ISK 31,396,832.15

Try to Fly Safer than me… and see you in the Sky  =/|)=

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