Saturday, September 29, 2012

I’ll Take Yer Bait, and Raise Ya Two Cruisers…

or~  Planetary Incometerruptus…

(Do you see a face? I see a face and I can't get away from that image now...)
I wake in the POS to find Mab is up and has scanned down the daily sigs… and we have a schweet 1 hop static to Empire only 6 from Dodi. I am prepping for another day of staring at planets, factories and spreadsheets and Mab went to make a run when…

Mab > Um, we have a warp bubble up at the static. It damn near got me.
Tur > huh? on our side?
Mab > Ayup
Mab > On our side.
Tur > hmmm... is it an HBHI bubble?
Mab > I don't think so. I can't lay those eggs and you're the only one in here other than me.
Tur > click on it, it's like a ship, pull info
Tur > OMW
Mab > I'm half way to Dodi man. I didn't hang around in a Viator. LOL
Tur > there’s a Hound here
Tur > just cloaked...
Mab > Did you get a name?
Mab > There were 5 in local when I came through including a Cheetah
Tur > there's can inside the bubble.... decloaker... owned by Psychic Moose
Mab > Don't remember that name in local but I'm old.
Tur > Ima bomb the stupid thing... LOL

I was in my Hound and had warped to the hole at 100km… there was a sm warp bubble approx 40km off to one side with a decloakcan inside it. Not exactly a good understanding on warp bubble mechanics… (1) if you approach from an off angle, they don’t grab you and, so far, when I have been caught in bubbles, I always end up right on the edge not deep inside. So far I have never had a decloak can break my cloak… so far. Dint matter this time as I was not in line with the bubble to I was not affected by it.

After I landed, I approached close enough to pull info on the can while I was doing that a Hound uncloaked and cloaked back up very quickly. I ‘think’ he was flirting with the hole and grazed it uncloaking himself… I lost the chance to get info on him do to the can’s info screen getting in my way… crap.

So… I angle upward to put the warp bubble & can in line with a planet, close to 40km and prepare to make my bomb run… I type in chat but hold on ‘send’; put mouse on the planet, click align’ mouse back over the can and…

…35km > F1-decloak > F2-1st SeBo > F3-2nd SeBo > F4-Torps > click can to target and autofire Torps > Targeting completes as I mouse over the aligned planet; Torps Away! > … 31km… 30km > F5-BOMBS AWAY! [hit ‘enter’ in chat, “FUCKBEANS BANANNASLIPPERS FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!!!!!”] as I R-click the pre-aligned planet and warp to 50… I watch my 2nd volley of torps fly past my bomb as I enter warp and cloak up… I land on the planet and immediately warp back to my original safe and then back to the hole at 100km. The can is gone and I did 800 damage to the bubble… I’m not gonna kill a sm warp bubble with bombs… oh it could be done, it’s just their so small you simply don’t get enough DPS on em from a single bomb even with 3 to 6 torps added… but they are effin with us… so I am effin back.

I make a 160km pounce ‘cause Mab’s blood is up and he wants to reship and come back in and take a shot at em! I am all worried about intel… how many are there? I only know for sure of one Hound but who else is cloaked up in here? Couple a tackle cloakies, mebbe a few T3? mebbe a cloaked BC, BS or two? It is obviously a ‘flypaper and bait’ trap… but who are we up against?

While Mab and I discuss this and I make the pounce a Manticore uncloaks close to the 1st bubble, drops a 2nd one and ejects another decloak can then warps off towards P6… I considered engaging but I was too close to ‘warpto’ and too far to ‘flyto’ range in time. But I did get intel and that it turns out was our Mr. P. Moose… so he’s in a Manticore and we have 2 confirmed stealth bombers in the hole. Ok, but is that all?

Mr. Moose is a member of Unacceptable Behaviour. He is listed as their “Diplomat”… (lousy diplomacy skills if you ask me but meh)… 43 members, primarily Roam PvPers (and primarily an Aussie corp which I like as I like Aussies in general) and it’s a fairly active corp… Crazy Moose is a 2011 toon w/ 17M SP… w/ a BC (Battleclinic) record of 306 to 91. Ok, it’s a semi serious corp w/ enough members and active enough that we could really be up against it… or it’s just a few of them onna WH Roam… but which?

There is only Mab and I… I am no l33t pewpewer and Mab is… well, Mab may have built and sold thousands for all I know but he ‘said’ he never actually FLEW a battleship until he joined us… and he’s been ingame  FOUR YEARS. Mab fits up a cloaky armor Proteus, comes back to the losec side of the hole and said there were five guys in local when he passed through, now just three, he feels we are dealing with just the two guys… the two of us are simply NOT gonna wafflestomp any serious PvPers… but…

But they are IN MY HOMEHOLE… and they are anchoring bubbles and taunting and daring us by their actions… it is an affront and what’s more… I am SICK of PI and I wanna FIGHT! Ok… I’ll take yer bait and raise ya ifn I can!

I decide to stay in my Hound for now. I make another pounce at 200km wayyy off angle from the first… OK. Now what tactics do we use? How do the two of us, a dyed-in-the-wool-bear and a half-n-half wormholer in a Proteus and a Hound, engage and win against, at the very least, 2 experienced PvPers in a Manticore and a Hound?  Hmmm… ahhhh… ummmmm…. fukifIknow.  =\

But, we can just sorta take the bait and… well… fight back. But 1st… I make another bomb run on the bubbles and can more for fun than in any real attempt at a fight… I love the Hound and the tactics involved in stealth bombing. So I pop their can and warp back to the 160km pounce. I tell Mab to go ahead and jump in and hold cloak and see what they do… I tell him to watch for his jump cloak to break and then align to the 200km pounce JIC.

Mab jumps in and… warps to the 200km pounce. LOL. Moltke’s Theory of War (4th paragraph)… "No plan of operations extends with certainty beyond the first encounter with the enemy's main strength." (or, in Murphy English…"No Oplan survives first contact.")… of course… we hadn’t ‘really’, ‘technically’ been in contact with the eminy… yet. So… meh. Mab cloaks up and I decide to get a bit moar active… we are all cloaked up, probably all on the same grid… and we are all waiting for someone to make that one fatal mistake,

…so I take one big step forward.  =]

I warp to the POS and open the SMB and… sit and waste time staring into my closet wondering “What to wear, what to wear?”… Seriously. I felt like a girl on a date with the young man downstairs sitting uncomfortably with my dad as I tried to decide what to wear. Oh fer the gods sake!!! Eventually I decided on a nice Ruppie with a mix of guns and missile trimming. In actuality it and a Stabber I ‘had’ were both CCP ‘gift’ freebies I had brought in and specifically PvP fit for just such an occasion.

So what do I do? Well I warp out directly TO THE HOLE at 0 of course.  …  That’s right, not to one of our pounces, which would have put me on grid and in warp range of the hole and the bubbles and in control of my engagement… but NOOOO, I go and warp right into THE DAMN BUBBLES. Oh well… I did want to bait them out so Mab and I can kill em right? So I stood up on the bridge and yelled… (in my Best James T.) “Damn the Bubbles, full speed ahead!

… so I burn towards the hole and target and pop the decloakcan (which causes Mab to say, “You just popped my warpto Tur.” to which I replied, “We are in fleet Mab.” to which… “Uh, oh yea… we are.” says he… LOL). I then target and start in on one of the warp bubbles “…when what to my wondering scans do appear? But two Stealth Bombers uncloaking from my rear!” Actually they uncloaked at their optimal in different directions from me and so the dance begins…

Now as all who engage in PvP in EVE know it is, for some reason, a really great adrenaline rush… and one the things I have great difficulty overcoming is the adrenaline overload I get during pewage which causes me to do very very stoopid things. Stoopid stuff like I forgot to launch even one of my Faction Hobgob drones… I actually did get a ‘target lock’ initially on both ships, but then forgot to switch guns and missiles from the cans until after the Manticore gets me damped out and I lose lock and THEN I realize I hadn’t even been firing on them when I did have em locked… of course, once I’m damped, webbed and scrammed I’m dead…

And I hate to say it but you will have to wait for Mab’s bloggery to find out what he was doin as I was really quite too busy DIAF to keep an eye on him… I know Mab warped in but I think he was unable to target or get into range but he was able to warp out or cloak up or something after I lost the Ruppie… And while I ‘did’ lose the Ruppie I AM, it seems, getting very good and realizing exactly when I have lost a fight and that seems to calm me enough to correctly prep to get my pod out safely… I have no idea if I should be proud of this particular skill or not…  =\

Combat Log Details:
-05:39:35 (notify) TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound) has started trying to warp scramble you! And so the dance started.
I had both my 425mm AutoCannon IIs and Caldari Navy Scourge Heavy Assault Missile’s firing on that damned Mobile Small Warp Disruptor I [.U.B.] instead of either of the hostiles.
-05:40:08 ] (notify) You have started trying to warp scramble TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound). I got a lock and…
-05:40:09 ] (combat) Group of 425mm AutoCannon II miss TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound);
I thought I had switched BOTH guns and missiles, but…
-05:40:10 ] (combat)Group of Caldari Navy Scourge Heavy Assault Missile strikes Mobile Small Warp Disruptor I [.U.B.];
From that point on my Group of 425mm AutoCannon II never even scratched TAZ D Monkey once until I asploded… My missiles, however, never once missed that damned stoopid warp bubble… sheesh.

Anyhoo… Now I know the Hound is piloted by TAZ D Monkey, corpmate of Crazy Moose and no other ships uncloaked or warped in on us during the engagement. Doesn’t mean they’re not out there waiting for bigger more ‘spensive fish, but with a Proteus on the field I felt they would have brought the ‘pain’ had they had more to bring… so as I warped my pod out of the cloud of wreckage and debris that had been my el-cheapo throw-away (and now somewhat completely destroyed) Ruppie… I felt somewhat confident we were  dealing with a two man WH bomber raid… cool. We just might get in a good fight, or at least we won’t get wafflestomped by a hotdrop fleet of Tengus.

So, Mab warps back to one of the pounces cloaked up and I warp back to the POS, reship to the Stabber and warp back to the hole, again at 0 again landing in the bubbles but this time it’s on purpose cause I know they will attack and I want another bite at the apple…I just hope that this time the faster Stabber will stand a better chance of getting in close enough to overcome the damping. I close on the Ruppie wreck waiting for a reaction… nothing for like a minute so I put the damn damn on the bubbles again…

Combat Log Details:
-05:46:33 ] (notify) Orbiting Wreck of: HDF =Rapture= (5000m);
-05:47:47 ] (combat) Group of 425mm AutoCannon II strikes Mobile ya-da ya-da;
-05:47:49 ] (combat) Caldari Navy Scourge Light Missile hits Mobile ya-da ya-da;
-05:47:49 ] (combat) Federation Navy Hobgoblin hits Mobile ya-da ya-da ya; (Yes, I remembered to launch my One Lone Drone!)
-05:49:47 ] (notify) TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound) has started trying to warp scramble you!
-05:49:54 ] (combat) TAZ D Monkey (Caldari Navy Nova Torpedo) hits you for 250 damage
-05:49:57 ] (combat) Psychic Moose (Caldari Navy Scourge Torpedo) hits you for 209 damage
But THIS time!
-05:50:03 ] (combat) Federation Navy Hobgoblin misses TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound)
As I am trying to target them …
-05:50:14 ] (notify) The Manticore. is too far away, you need to be within 22244 meters of it but are actually 27309 meters away;
Finally at least the drone gets a hit!!
-05:50:15 ] (combat) Federation Navy Hobgoblin hits TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound) for 34 damage
Now during all of this I have still been…
-05:51:06 ] (combat) Caldari Navy Scourge Light Missile hits Mobile ya-da ya-da;
-05:51:09 ] (combat) Group of 425mm AutoCannon II strikes Mobile ya-da ya-da;
While my drone has been…
-05:51:11 ] (combat) Federation Navy Hobgoblin hits TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound) for 39 damage;
Yea… the WHOLE engagement I was still shooting the damned bubble… but, in my defense I WAS ready to switch targets but I was again damped and webbed and scrammed and never got a lock… and DIAF again… still and all, I AM getting to be quite the EXPERT at getting my pod out safely…

I warp to the 200km pounce thence back to the POS… this time though, they probably won’t come out an play… but let’s see how they feel about a Drake. I warp back, BUT THIS TIME to 10km off of the 200km pounce… and align to a wreck (yes, of mine) near the Manticore which is still uncloaked in jump range of the hole…

Combat Log Details:
-05:55:39 ] (notify) Aligning to Wreck of: HDF =Back II=
Now I have made some real mistakes tonight but this one tops em all… You see I am a bit pissed that I forgot my to use my drones when I had enough to make a difference… so I IMMEDIATELY launch ALL 5 Cal Navy Hobgob IIs… and THEN warp to the wreck….

I can only wonder what they thought as they watched a Drake launch 5 Faction Hobgoblins… and warp away leaving them 200 km behind…  =\

-05:57:45 ] (notify) Psychic Moose [.U.B.](Manticore) has started trying to warp scramble you!
-05:57:54 ] (notify) TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound) has started trying to warp scramble you!
This time however things go a little bit better… FINALLY!!!!
-05:58:20 ] (combat) Group of Scourge Heavy Missile strikes Psychic Moose [.U.B.](Manticore) for 104 damage
And MABRICK is in the FIGHT!!!
05:58:49 ] (notify) Mabrick [HBHI]<AST>(Proteus) has started trying to warp scramble "TAZ D Monkey [.U.B.](Hound)"
The Manticore finally pulls range and gets me damped out again…
-05:58:53 ] (notify) The Manticore. is too far away, you need to be within 33366 meters of it but are actually 33611 meters away.
And then, I can only assume the Hound jumped the hole because…
-05:58:56 ] (notify) Targeting attempt failed as the designated object is no longer present.
I am no longer scrammed so I warp down to the 200km pounce and RECALL ALL DRONES…
-06:00:08 ] (notify) Attempting to reconnect with nearby drones.
Then I warp back up to the fight…
-06:01:03 ] (notify) Approaching Manticore. … who promptly disappears…
-06:01:04 ] (notify) Please wait...

It was really late and both Mab and I had to hit the sack… and as much as EVE^fun than RL, as we all know it is still RL>EVE. So I spend from 06:02:25 to 06:04:04 killing the bubbles… and we dockup and hit the sack.

The Wrap Up…
HBHI (me) lost 2 T1 (free) Cruisers to 2 Stealth Bombers… but, we got in there and did the best we could (worrisome I assure you) but still and all… you don’t get better at something like PvP by staying docked up now do you?

And “The Mabrick”… Four Year EVE dyed-in-the-wool Carebear veteran, and I am proud to say, my friend… got his PvP cherry busted… and said he liked it!!   =]

Fly Safe(ish) and see you in the Sky  =/|)=


  1. And just so we are all clear, it was Manticore named Mantaray. =]

  2. LOL... will correct. I was still riding the high when I wrote it... had logs up on 2nd screen and all.. sheesh. =]

  3. “What to wear, what to wear?”… Seriously. I felt like a girl on a date with the young man downstairs sitting uncomfortably with my dad as I tried to decide what to wear

    ROFL. That made my evening. And if in doubt... Falcon or bomber...

  4. I do so envoy a good turn of phrase, I absolutely love wordsmithing... =]

    It was so weird... I opened the SMB and then just sat there... as if my brain had gone BSOD on me... the options overwhelmed my ability to think out the pros vs. cons of each ship available to me... Then I actually physically shook myself and said, out loud, "Crap man get on with it!" And chose the Ruppie as I had brought both it and the Stabber in and PvP them fitted expressly for this kind of situation.

    I have, of course, spent the last few days and nights replaying and refighting these engagements in my head... it was not so much the ship or fit, my problem was, and is, my RL skills at tactical thinking and keeping a cool head... I just lose it and do stoopid shit like warp to the hole and not the pounces I had taken the time to make... and not switching my DPS to the targets, but wasting it on the damned wrp bubbles... I get all overamped... I love it, but I gotta learn how to keep a cool head...

    You oughta hear Sov, a good friend and one of, if not the, best FC's I have ever flown with... he sounds so damn calm and totally in control of himself and the situation that even when things have gone totally tits up... you still have complete confidence in him as he orders... (and I have heard him say this during a lowsec roam)

    "Would everyone in a pod please warp to a planet or moon, not a gate or a station." as calm as if he was asking you to fleet up for a mining op in an empty hisec system... =]

    And hell man, Mab actually talked me into it!! (not that it took all that much to do so...) The King of the Carebears got his blood up and wanted to fight!! We had a BALL!!! =]

  5. Nice article, thanks for the information.


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